Joop Boukes worked with disadvantaged youth in Dutch residential care; kids with intellectual disabilities, behavioural disorders, and trauma histories. Traditional approaches used control, including physical restraint, to enforce socially desirable behaviour. But when kids left the facility, their oppositionality returned worse than before. Ready to quit, Boukes partnered with psychologist Gerard Kocken on a pilot using dialogue rather than control. Within three months, aggression markedly diminished. Youth developed internal locus of control and engaged willingly in their treatment. The research project, titled "Screw You," confirmed that dialogue replaces hostile attitudes with genuine connection. Now Boukes advocates for dialogue in schools from primary age, not as crisis intervention but as a basic skill of living. "Everyone has a piece of the puzzle. Together we will find the best approach." In a world where young people are increasingly articulate and demanding to be heard, he argues, dialogue is essential for remaining a liveable society.